Compline

Compline is one of, if not my favorite service.

Its so relaxing and a great way to end the day - clear the mind and soul to sleep.

http://www.missionstclare.com/compline/comlist.html



The Lord Almighty grant us a peaceful night and a perfect end

Amen.

Let us confess our sins to God.

Almighty God, our heavenly Father:
We have sinned against you,
through our own fault,
in thought, and word, and deed,
and in what we have left undone.
For the sake of your Son our Lord Jesus Christ,
forgive us all our offenses;
and grant that we may serve you
in newness of life,
to the glory of your Name. Amen.

May the Almighty God grant us forgiveness of all our sins,and the grace and comfort of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Psalm 31 In te, Domine, speravi

1
In you, O LORD, have I taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame; *
deliver me in your righteousness.
2
Incline your ear to me; *
make haste to deliver me.
3
Be my strong rock, a castle to keep me safe,
for you are my crag and my stronghold; *
for the sake of your Name, lead me and guide me.
4
Take me out of the net that they have secretly set for me, *
for you are my tower of strength.
5
Into your hands I commend my spirit, *
for you have redeemed me,
O LORD, O God of truth.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.

Psalm 4 Cum invocarem

1
Answer me when I call, O God, defender of my cause; *
you set me free when I am hard-pressed;
have mercy on me and hear my prayer.
2
"You mortals, how long will you dishonor my glory; *
how long will you worship dumb idols
and run after false gods?"
3
Know that the LORD does wonders for the faithful; *
when I call upon the LORD, he will hear me.
4
Tremble, then, and do not sin; *
speak to your heart in silence upon your bed.
5
Offer the appointed sacrifices *
and put your trust in the LORD.
6
Many are saying,
"Oh, that we might see better times!" *
Lift up the light of your countenance upon us, O LORD.
7
You have put gladness in my heart, *
more than when grain and wine and oil increase.
8
I lie down in peace; at once I fall asleep; *
for only you, LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: as
it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.

Psalm 91Qui habitat

1
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, *
abides under the shadow of the Almighty.
2
He shall say to the LORD,
"You are my refuge and my stronghold, *
my God in whom I put my trust."
3
He shall deliver you from the snare of the hunter *
and from the deadly pestilence.
4
He shall cover you with his pinions,
and you shall find refuge under his wings; *
his faithfulness shall be a shield and buckler.
5
You shall not be afraid of any terror by night, *
nor of the arrow that flies by day;
6
Of the plague that stalks in the darkness, *
nor of the sickness that lays waste at mid-day.
7
A thousand shall fall at your side
and ten thousand at your right hand, *
but it shall not come near you.
8
Your eyes have only to behold *
to see the reward of the wicked.
9
Because you have made the LORD your refuge, *
and the Most High your habitation,
10
There shall no evil happen to you, *
neither shall any plague come near your dwelling.
11
For he shall give his angels charge over you, *
to keep you in all your ways.
12
They shall bear you in their hands, *
lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13
You shall tread upon the lion and the adder; *
you shall trample the young lion and the serpent under your feet.
14
Because he is bound to me in love,
therefore will I deliver him; *
I will protect him, because he knows my Name.
15
He shall call upon me, and I will answer him; *
I am with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and bring him to honor.
16
With long life will I satisfy him, *
and show him my salvation.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.


Our help is in the Name of the Lord;

The maker of heaven and earth.

Lord, you are in the midst of us, and we are called by your Name: Do not forsake us, O Lord our God. Jeremiah 14:9,22

Thanks be to God.

May the God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, and great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in you that which is pleasing in his sight; through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Hebrews 13:20-21

Thanks be to God.

Be sober, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith. 1 Peter 5:8-9a

Thanks be to God.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

Thanks be to God.

nto your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit;

For you have redeemed me, O Lord, O God of truth.

Keep us, O Lord, as the apple of your eye;

Hide us under the shadow of your wings.

Lord, have mercy.

Christ, have mercy.

Lord, have mercy.

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy Name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever. Amen.

Lord, hear our prayer.

And let our cry come unto you.

Let us pray.

Be present, O merciful God, and protect us through the hours of this night, so that we who are wearied by the changes and chances of this life may rest in your eternal changelessness; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love's sake. Amen.

Guide us waking, O Lord, and guard us sleeping; that awake we may watch with Christ, and asleep we may rest in peace.

Lord, you now have set your servant free *
to go in peace as you have promised;

For these eyes of mine have seen the Savior, *
whom you have prepared for all the world to see:

A Light to enlighten the nations, *
and the glory of your people Israel.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: *
as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.

Guide us waking, O Lord, and guard us sleeping; that awake we may watch with Christ, and asleep we may rest in peace.

Let us bless the Lord.

Thanks be to God.

The almighty and merciful Lord, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, bless us and keep us.

Amen.

Diwali blessing by Swami Chidanand Saraswati (Muniji)

Diwali blessing by Swami Chidanand Saraswati (Muniji) 6:11pm
May the light of love and devotion shine brightly in your hearts.
May the light of understanding shine in your minds.
May the light of harmony glow in your home.
May the light of service shine forth ceaselessly from your hands.
May the light of peace emanate from your being.
May your presence light the lamps of love and peace wherever you go.

-- Diwali blessing by Swami Chidanand Saraswati (Muniji)

Fabulous site....!!!!!

http://www.missionstclare.com/english/May/ritei

I Needed this today - maybe you do too! I had forgotten this site - its wonderful!!!!

God is good all the time.

All the time God is good.


2 May 2008
Morning Prayer
Philip and James Apostles

Opening Sentence
Their sound is gone out into all lands, and their words into the ends of the world.
Psalm 19:4

Confession
Let us humbly confess our sins unto Almighty God.
Almighty and most merciful Father,
we have erred and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep,
we have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts,
we have offended against thy holy laws,
we have left undone those things which we ought to have done,
and we have done those things which we ought not to have done.
But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us,
spare thou those who confess their faults,
restore thou those who are penitent,
according to thy promises declared unto mankind
in Christ Jesus our Lord;
and grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake,
that we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life,
to the glory of thy holy Name. Amen.
The Almighty and merciful Lord grant us absolution

The Invitatory
O Lord, open thou our lips.
And our mouth shall show forth thy praise.
Alleluia. The Lord is glorious in his saints: O come, let us adore him. Alleluia.n and remission of all our sins, true repentance, amendment of life, and the grace and consolation of his Holy Spirit. Amen.

Jubilate Psalm 100
Be joyful in the Lord, all ye lands; *
serve the Lord with gladness and come before his presence with a song.

Be ye sure that the Lord he is God; *
it is he that hath made us and we ourselves; we are his people and the sheep of his pasture.

O go your way into his gates with thanksgiving and into his courts with praise; *
be thankful unto him and speak good of his Name.

For the Lord is gracious;
his mercy is everlasting; *
and his truth endureth from generation to generation.

Psalm 85

1 Lord, thou art become gracious unto thy land *
thou hast turned away the captivity of Jacob.
2 Thou hast forgiven the offence of thy people *
and covered all their sins.
3 Thou hast taken away all thy displeasure *
and turned thyself from thy wrathful indignation.
4 Turn us then, O God our Saviour *
and let thine anger cease from us.
5 Wilt thou be displeased at us for ever *
and wilt thou stretch out thy wrath from one generation to another?
6 Wilt thou not turn again, and quicken us *
that thy people may rejoice in thee?
7 Shew us thy mercy, O Lord *
and grant us thy salvation.
8 I will hearken what the Lord God will say concerning me *
for he shall speak peace unto his people, and to his saints, that they turn not again.
9 For his salvation is nigh them that fear him *
that glory may dwell in our land.
10 Mercy and truth are met together *
righteousness and peace have kissed each other.
11 Truth shall flourish out of the earth *
and righteousness hath looked down from heaven.
12 Yea, the Lord shall shew loving-kindness *
and our land shall give her increase.
13 Righteousness shall go before him *
and he shall direct his going in the way.

Psalm 86

1 Bow down thine ear, O Lord, and hear me *
for I am poor, and in misery.
2 Preserve thou my soul, for I am holy *
my God, save thy servant that putteth his trust in thee.
3 Be merciful unto me, O Lord *
for I will call daily upon thee.
4 Comfort the soul of thy servant *
for unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.
5 For thou, Lord, art good and gracious *
and of great mercy unto all them that call upon thee.
6 Give ear, Lord, unto my prayer *
and ponder the voice of my humble desires.
7 In the time of my trouble I will call upon thee *
for thou hearest me.
8 Among the gods there is none like unto thee, O Lord *
there is not one that can do as thou doest.
9 All nations whom thou hast made shall come and worship thee, O Lord *
and shall glorify thy Name.
10 For thou art great, and doest wondrous things *
thou art God alone.
11 Teach me thy way, O Lord, and I will walk in thy truth *
O knit my heart unto thee, that I may fear thy Name.
12 I will thank thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart *
and will praise thy Name for evermore.
13 For great is thy mercy toward me *
and thou hast delivered my soul from the nethermost hell.
14 O God, the proud are risen against me *
and the congregations of naughty men have sought after my soul, and have not set thee before their eyes.
15 But thou, O Lord God, art full of compassion and mercy *
long-suffering, plenteous in goodness and truth.
16 O turn thee then unto me, and have mercy upon me *
give thy strength unto thy servant, and help the son of thine handmaid.
17 Shew some token upon me for good, that they who hate me may see it, and be ashamed *
because thou, Lord, hast holpen me, and comforted me.

Old Testament Lesson

1 Sam. 2: 1- 10 (NRSV)

1 Hannah prayed and said,
"My heart exults in the LORD;
my strength is exalted in my God.
My mouth derides my enemies,
because I rejoice in my victory.

2 "There is no Holy One like the LORD,
no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God.
3 Talk no more so very proudly,
let not arrogance come from your mouth;
for the LORD is a God of knowledge,
and by him actions are weighed.
4 The bows of the mighty are broken,
but the feeble gird on strength.
5 Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread,
but those who were hungry are fat with spoil.
The barren has borne seven,
but she who has many children is forlorn.
6 The LORD kills and brings to life;
he brings down to Sheol and raises up.
7 The LORD makes poor and makes rich;
he brings low, he also exalts.
8 He raises up the poor from the dust;
he lifts the needy from the ash heap,
to make them sit with princes
and inherit a seat of honor.
For the pillars of the earth are the LORD's,
and on them he has set the world.

9 "He will guard the feet of his faithful ones,
but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness;
for not by might does one prevail.
10 The LORD! His adversaries shall be shattered;
the Most High will thunder in heaven.
The LORD will judge the ends of the earth;
he will give strength to his king,
and exalt the power of his anointed."

The Word of the Lord.

Thanks be to God.

Canticle 10 The Second Song of Isaiah
Quaerite Dominum Isaiah 55:6-11
Seek the Lord while he wills to be found; *
call upon him when he draws near.
Let the wicked forsake their ways *
and the evil ones their thoughts;

And let them turn to the Lord,
and he will have compassion, *
and to our God, for he will richly pardon.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, *
nor your ways my ways, says the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, *
so are my ways higher than your ways,
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

For as rain and snow fall from the heavens *
and return not again, but water the earth,

Bringing forth life and giving growth, *
seed for sowing and bread for eating,

So is my word that goes forth from my mouth; *
it will not return to me empty;

But it will accomplish that which I have purposed, *
and prosper in that for which I sent it.

New Testament Lesson

Eph. 2: 1- 10 (NRSV)

1 You were dead through the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once lived, following the course of this world, following the ruler of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work among those who are disobedient. 3 All of us once lived among them in the passions of our flesh, following the desires of flesh and senses, and we were by nature children of wrath, like everyone else. 4 But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us 5 even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive togethGospel

Matt. 7: 22- 27 (NRSV)

22 On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many deeds of power in your name?' 23 Then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; go away from me, you evildoers.' 24 "Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. 25 The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell-and great was its fall!"

The Word of the Lord.

Thanks be to God.er with Christ -by grace you have been saved- 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God- 9 not the result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life.

The Word of the Lord.

Thanks be to God.

Two quotations from the writings of Athanasius follow:

We were made "in the likeness of God." But in course of time that image has become obscured, like a face on a very old portrait, dimmed with dust and dirt.

When a portrait is spoiled, the only way to renew it is for the subject to come back to the studio and sit for the artist all over again. That is why Christ came--to make it possible for the divine image in man to be recreated. We were made in God's likeness; we are remade in the likeness of his Son.

The Lord's Prayer
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy Name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done, on earth as it is in
heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass
against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever. Amen.

For Our Enemies
God, the Father of all, whose Son commanded us to love our enemies: Lead them and us from prejudice to truth; deliver them and us from hatred, cruelty, and revenge; and in thy good time enable us all to stand reconciled before thee; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

For Social Justice
Grant, O God, that thy holy and life-giving Spirit may so move every human heart, that barriers which divide us may crumble, suspicions disappear, and hatreds cease; that our divisions being healed, we may live in justice and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

A Prayer of Self-Dedication
Almighty and eternal God, so draw our hearts to thee, so guide our minds, so fill our imaginations, so control our wills, that we may be wholly thines, utterly dedicated unto thee; and then use us, we pray thee, as thee will, and always to thy glory and the welfare of thy people; through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.

The General Thanksgiving
Almighty God, Father of all mercies,
we thine unworthy servants
do give thee most humble and hearty thanks
for all thy goodness and loving-kindness
to us and to all men.
We bless thee for our creation, preservation,
and all the blessings of this life;
but above all for thine inestimable love
in the redemption of the world by our Lord Jesus Christ;
for the means of grace, and for the hope of glory.
And, we beseech thee,
give us that due sense of all thy mercies,
that our hearts may be unfaignedly thankful;
and that we show forth thy praise,
not only with our lips, but in our lives,
by giving up our selves to thy service,
and by walking before thee
in holiness and righteousness all our days;
through Jesus Christ our Lord,
to whom, with thee and the Holy Spirit,
be all honor and glory, world without end. Amen.

A Prayer of St. Chrysostom
Almighty God, who hast given us grace at this time with one accord to make our common supplication unto thee; and hast promised through thy well-beloved Son that when two or three are gathered together in his Name thou wilt be in the midst of them: Fulfill now, O Lord, our desires and petitions of thy servants as may be best for us; granting us in this world knowledge of thy truth, and in the world to come life everlasting. Amen

Benediction
Glory to God whose power, working in us, can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine: Glory to him from generation to generation in the Church, and in Christ Jesus for ever and ever. Amen. Alleluia, alleluia.

Ephesians 3:20,21

Compatibility

Who is compatible? Who is trustworthy? What is a friend? An ally? A colleague? An acquaintance? How do you know whom to trust with what, when. How do you know who can handle what, when and how much? Where can you truly go when trouble strikes?

I really like the desiderata - believe it or not the priest who confirmed me gave it to me in the form of a plaque in 7th grade. I gave it to a friend in need. Who is no longer in my life, so I wish I had kept it. They hung it prominently and I believe its still there, hopefully it is still giving.

I think there is something in there about childlike trust. Of course there is scripture about being like a child is the way to heaven. But how do we as adults deal with our own issues as they arise and know what, when, who and how much?

Its a fine line to walk.

I recently had legitimate occasion to seek help from someone who's job it is to help me. I was unfortunately also in severe distress at the time. Apparently so were they. But they had a job to do and I was right in bringing it to their attention. They yelled at me and then the next day to add insult to injury demeaned me with unfortunate language. Had they said what they needed to in a different way they would not have lost my trust.

I am hoping to speak with them as activities calm down in person. All i wanted was for them to do their job. It was unfortunate wording on their part. As I have listened to their difficulties at length. It was mean.

Adults are not immune from the pain of words. I wish I was.

Obviously this concerns me for I was under the impression we had a friendship. No friend would have said those things to me in that way. However angry or hurt I may be I still have affection for them. Does this make me a fool, or simply human.

I am hurt but for my part I forgive them, I cannot apologize for asking them to do their job but I am sorry it was a bad time for them and that they too feel hurt. THis was an urgent, highly important, charged situation. Obviously it pains me or I would not be typing right now... but can I trust them again??? Have they been using me for some strange political gain recently? Who knows. I don't. In this situation I don't know what is real at the moment. I will always be able to work with them, that will not change, but trust or friendship? This is not the first time similar things have happened in this relationship.

I wish my 'friend' would rise to the occasion but I can only offer the branch. They are capable of greatness. I am not certain they know that.

We humans - how stupid are we!!!!!!

I have asked for an in person chat when things calm down - perhaps there is a salvage operation to take place. Perhaps not. Ether way It is another lesson in knowing who is and isn''t a friend. I wish it would get easier.

Again - Who is compatible? Who is trustworthy? What is a friend? An ally? A colleague? An acquaintance? How do you know whom to trust with what, when. How do you know who can handle what, when and how much? Where can you truly go when trouble strikes?

Not a gift that comes easily, that wisdom. I trust too well.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others, even dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater
and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love for in the
face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in
sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself
with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue
and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace with your soul.

With all its shams, drudgery,
and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.

Strive to be happy.


1927 by Max Ehrmann

Follow me

I read this devotion online - and lately I have been thinking my life needs a bit of a tune up according to my beliefs. Its so hard in a secular world to - well not to hide our beliefs. Its easy to go along and say - all things are OK. And its also difficult to know what you are judging... judging is not good - "who shall cast the first stone" and "judge not lest ye be judged".. as a flawed human I find my self judging all the time.

I need to think about what it is to follow Christ. Part of that is the concept of Glory. I want to see the "Glory of God" - but that seems selfish. Perhaps a shift - how can my life Glorify God.... hmm living to Glorify God. Follow "Me".

That can change everything.

Here's the devotional.

Ron Newhouse http://www.devotions.net/devotions/10october/29.htm

After this he said to him, "Follow me." (John 21:19 NRSV Bible)
"Follow me," Jesus said. It was the same call he gave them at the beginning of their discipleship. Do you know what that call was? "Follow me." This is his final instruction for them before he leaves them. "Follow me." He is not sending them out to a hostile world alone. He goes ahead of them. Like a commander leading his troops into battle. Like an explorer leading his party into the unknown. He takes the first step, and those who would be his followers come after. That is what gives Christian living its radiance, its joy, its reassurance.
Susan took one look at her friend's exhausted expression and cluttered office and said, "What you need is a vacation!"

Her overworked friend asked jokingly, "Vacation? What's that?"

"A vacation," Susan explained, "is what you take if you can no longer take what you've been taking!"

If you can no longer take what you are taking, try following Jesus Christ more closely.

Dear God, remind me daily to follow more closely in the steps of Jesus. Amen.
Ron Newhouse http://www.devotions.net/devotions/10october/29.htm

Lucy and Ethel

I love Lucy and Ethel, they are my girls, my two maltese pups - not pups anymore at 5 yrs, but they will always be pups to me.

They are my constant companions, cheering me when I am down, amusing me with their quirks and showing unbridaled excitment in the little things of life. Going outslde, playing, running, climbing, eating, drinking (wasser of course) and in general helping me to feel better in my own skin. They accompany me everywhere they can legally do so, so everywhere that does not serve or sell food.

When I am with them everything is easier, they take the edge off. People are friendlier, situations are more bareable, and I am in general, calmer.

They are especially good in church and I love going with them. They don't make a peep and EVERYONE is happy to see them. They love classical music in all its forms, the only thing they don't like are things with a loud drum beat. Lucy hides whenever I play my standard classic madonna recording while cleaning the room.

With the girls I feel complete - they remind me I am a child of God - they help me see the reality of it, and help me to live up to it.

One of my favorite sayings is dog spelled backwards is God.

I do not find that a coinsidence

Creme Brulee for breakfast

The title isn't quite true - its ben and jerry's creme brylee icecream. 1/2 cup. 310 calories of breakfast goodness.

Its about all i had in the house this morning. so i figured what the heck. Life is too short and its edible.

Life is way too short and mine feels stuck in fear as usual.

One of my favorite saturday morning cartoons - and there are a few - is Madeline. and its not on in its usual place! They have probably replaced it with some insipid teen drama. I feel comfortable saying that because even as a teen I thought they were inspid. I may just have to listen NPR- horrors - a freind calls it radio free nicaragua - if you get it you will think its funny.

I settled on the B&J creme brulee because I wanted its calming properties as i typed this. A lot of history is forgotten, a lot of true things that happen around a historic event are lost by those who write about it. History is in the hands of those who document it - and they invariably miss a lot of heroism, sacrifice, joy, sorrow, courage and life. How many untold folks helped in the underground railroad, the american revolution, WWII, pearl harbor, gettysburg, san fransisco quake, house fires, floods, katrina, andrew, blizzard of '77... the list goes on.

The human spirit is large, huge - we are children of God.

I saw something recently that helped me absorb this - I said I liked several cartoons - and I do! One that always makes me laugh is veggie tales. Yes before you hurl, it is produced by fundies, but its mostly about basic christianity and morality. A major network carries it and I like the messages and the very FUNNY veggies! The last one I saw consentrated on a little veggie that was happy who he was but picked on all the time. Every time he was put down the other veggies painted him a picture to be reminded of the "lesson" and put it in his back pack. After several of these his pack was really heavy and weighed him down. One day he tried to get away from them and climbed up to the top of a mountain where he met the Creator. He had heard about the Creator but no one really knew all that much about him. The creator was happy to see him and asked why he was so downtrodden. Then he noticed the backpack full of pictures reminding him he wasn't very good at anything. The creator said he had a picture for his back pack that he wanted to paint. It was a picture of the little guy big, strong, and flying as he was meant to be. The little guy said - how do you know that is me - he said because I created you, I know you and you are unique. He took all the pictures out of his backpack and replaced it with the one painting. The one of him flying and said not to let anyone else put pictures in his backpack for his was the only true painting. The only one that mattered. It was a painting of the little guy big, strong, good, gracious, talented and flying!!!!
AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE DID. He flew. He flew with the others who were suprised but that did not stop him. He flew.

I want to fly too.

9.11.01 had its 6th anniversary this year. It was on a tuesday, (the day it happened) a very rough day for me, fall is rough now. Luckily the day was rainy, overcast, not the beautiful crisp clean day it was.

I tire of that stupid whale.

CHAPTER 41

Moby Dick.

"His three boats stove around him, and oars and men both whirling in
the eddies; one captain, seizing the line-knife from his broken prow,
had dashed at the whale, as an Arkansas duellist at his foe, blindly
seeking with a six inch blade to reach the fathom-deep life of the
whale. That captain was Ahab. And then it was, that suddenly
sweeping his sickle-shaped lower jaw beneath him, Moby Dick had
reaped away Ahab's leg, as a mower a blade of grass in the field. No
turbaned Turk, no hired Venetian or Malay, could have smote him with
more seeming malice. Small reason was there to doubt, then, that
ever since that almost fatal encounter, Ahab had cherished a wild
vindictiveness against the whale, all the more fell for that in his
frantic morbidness he at last came to identify with him, not only all
his bodily woes, but all his intellectual and spiritual
exasperations. The White Whale swam before him as the monomaniac
incarnation of all those malicious agencies which some deep men feel
eating in them, till they are left living on with half a heart and
half a lung. That intangible malignity which has been from the
beginning; to whose dominion even the modern Christians ascribe
one-half of the worlds; which the ancient Ophites of the east
reverenced in their statue devil;--Ahab did not fall down and worship
it like them; but deliriously transferring its idea to the abhorred
white whale, he pitted himself, all mutilated, against it. All that
most maddens and torments; all that stirs up the lees of things; all
truth with malice in it; all that cracks the sinews and cakes the
brain; all the subtle demonisms of life and thought; all evil, to
crazy Ahab, were visibly personified, and made practically assailable
in Moby Dick. He piled upon the whale's white hump the sum of all
the general rage and hate felt by his whole race from Adam down; and
then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart's
shell upon it."

I tire of that stupid whale...

S.